Do you play the lottery?
Me and my fishing buddy used to talk about all the exotic places we would go fishing if we won the lottery. Sort of a way to distract yourself from the drive home or your work or your life.
Well, we never won the lottery and we never hit any of those exotic locations, yet! We just didn’t realize we could go without winning the lottery.
If you want to catch up, here are the links to the backstory for this series and Part 1.
Same thing, when you have those moments or days at work, when you say, man, wish I would just win the lottery. Then I would not have to work, (of course you are not exactly sure what you would do), and your troubles would just melt away. You would not have to put up with the BS at work or any other place for that matter. Seems like I read someplace that lottery winners, as a group, are not that fulfilled after the initial rush of materialistic purchases fade.
If you have not fantasized about winning the lottery – well good for you, because it is a huge waste of time.
If you have fantasized about winning the lottery, well keep reading, because in case you have not realized it yet, the lottery is not going to save you.
See, we tend to struggle thru hoping that something or someone will lay that golden ticket at our feet and we can go live in bliss. In the meantime, we drag ourselves to work and hope that the weekend gives us some escape and rest.
Do not tell me you have not had the question – What would you do if you won the lottery? It is a popular question to entice people to dream and tap into what they really want out of life. Unfortunately, most of us never win the lottery and most of us never pursue what we really want out of life.
The Stealth Job Search
I used to think that if I could just get another job, I would be happy. New environment, find something closer to my personal interests and that would make it “better”. I would go update LinkedIn every 3 to 4 months, make sure I was checking the box that let recruiters know I was open to opportunities. Hoping that someone would cruise by my profile, call me up and offer me some new amazing opportunity.
Oh, I would get some interest, and I would run out at lunch to call the recruiter, hoping this was the one. I would be all excited, wow, somebody is actually interested. Then you find out it is some job in New Jersey, with a company that has more problems than your current company. The pay is less, but the problems are enormous. Same problems, new name on the door.
So this was my cycle to find joy and fulfillment in my work. Well, maybe just less misery.
But you know what? Those opportunities were never what I was after, not even close.
If you are waiting to win the lottery or have some recruiter blindly rescue from your current situation, that is just a recipe for deep disappointment, wasted hope and a waste of time.
This behavior, once realized, is very humbling. It completely robbed me of my own freedom and authority to pursue what I wanted out of my work life.
If you are waiting for someone or something to come along and ease your pain, well, you will continue to “perform”, looking for any level of external validation. This keeps you chasing the holy grail, believing your next job, your next reward or your next promotion will bring you the joy and fulfillment you are seeking.
The only way to break the cycle is to take back your personal power and authority, to ask for the help you need and pursue your deep desires, without apology.
See, this personal responsibility thing is real. You need not waste your time on hoping something or someone will provide you everything you need.
Priority one is to understand what you want? What is it that gives you life? Your life?
Not your parents approval, not your friends approval, not society’s approval.
You need to get VERY clear on what you want, why you want it, and take back your power to enact the decisions/behaviors and actions that will move you towards your desires.
So, how do you recognize your inability to claim your own power, authority and write your own story?
To see where you are operating in personal responsibility – consider the following:
Where do you feel a sense of grace and ease?
Where do you feel free to be, do or have what you want?
Where in your life do you feel powerful and confident?
To see where you may be operating in rescue mode:
Where are you performing for approval?
Where do you feel anxiety waiting for an outcome?
Where are you refusing to ask for help?
I have been chasing approval my entire career and my entire life.
The next thing always seemed to be the right thing, until it wasn’t. Always hoping that something will come along and make everything right.
It just does not work that way.
Take back your power. Take back your responsibility.
Go Rescue yourself!!
Next Week – Nothing Changes until YOU do. (Get ready this one is tough)